Albania Good parenting brings up happy, healthy children

Project : Albania 18 Apr 2011 | prevention protection systems

Vlora, Albania April 8, 2011: Parenting today is very different and far more challenging than it used to be. Many well intentioned parents are still using outdated parenting skills and tools that simply do not work consistently. As a result, parents experience frustration, stress and even guilt on a daily basis. In the case of parents who come from severely disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds, their frustration is often augmented by the inability to provide enough for their children’s most basic needs, such as food, shelter and proper medical care. Despite these difficulties, good parenting is about using the right techniques that* bring out the very best in children* whilst teaching them respect, responsibility and compassion.

Recognizing the challenges faced by some of the most vulnerable families in the city of Vlora, Terre des hommes with support from the OSCE Presence in Albania brought together 35 interested local community members to share common parenting challenges and discuss good parenting techniques, in the framework of a joint 6-month-project supporting various local prevention activities against human trafficking and exploitation, which started in January 2011.
After presenting the difference between the traditional and supportive family environments as well as related parenting styles such as authoritative, liberal and democratic models, the training participants were encouraged to discuss and share their own experiences in small groups in order to outline both positive and negative parenting techniques.

“It is so hard being a single mother, doing two jobs and getting paid very little to secure the very basics for my family,… not having enough time to spend with my children or find out how they are doing, and sometimes losing my patience and temper with them… often too exhausted and unable to provide them with the proper attention and support they deserve,” noted in frustration a mother who attended the seminar. Some parents regretfully admitted to having used strict disciplining techniques for their children, resorting sometimes to means of physical punishment to enforce children’s obedience to the family rules. Others agreed that physical punishment should not be seen as a way to address common behaviour issues with their children or indeed as the shortcut to disciplining them. The participating parents were encouraged to understand how commonly used forms of discipline and punishment actually lead to more misbehaviour and only teach children ways to avoid getting caught the next time. In addition, these form of harsh disciplining deliver inconsistent results, alienate children from their parents and their advice, and fail to teach them how to learn from mistakes.

“Good parenting is not easy,” stated one of the participants,_ “..Young parents especially must know that a lot of patience, open communication and dedication is needed in order to raise good children.”_ The participants concurred that fostering a positive child-parent relationship requires parents to be constantly encouraging and supportive in helping children build a positive self image and confidence through positive reinforcement, frequent and constructive communication, as well as increasing children’s sense of control by giving them choices and including them in decision-making. “I really appreciate what I learned here today. In a way, this was like a wake-up call for me to start reshaping the relationship that I have with my children…Some of the things that I need to change do not require much else aside from patience and perseverance on my part,” noted another parent at the end of the seminar. [TL]